It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Randomize
