Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
