How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
