My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
