Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
