I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
