What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
We have started to decorate penises.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
