You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
