Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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