would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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