tell your sister to shave her snatch
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
