He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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