I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
