If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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