well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I think my fart just growled at me.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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