its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize
