it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
