Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I enjoy the company of your penis
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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