So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
