I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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