i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
