names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
