How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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