office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
