i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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