My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
