Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
did i just pee glitter
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
