just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
