you're like a bully in the Christmas story
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
