ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
