ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
