Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
