how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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