Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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