I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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