matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
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