I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize