Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
