im drinking this country out of the recession.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Randomize