wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
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