There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
