im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
