That's intense
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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