Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
