"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
