I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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