We named our party play list daddy issues
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
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Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
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Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
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