Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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