the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
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