Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
