I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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