I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize