Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
