No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
