I'm really into asian looking animals
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
