Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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