Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize